F U, Penguin

F U, Penguin

Telling Cute Animals What's What

Book - 2009
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Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long.

There is a cute and present danger lurking out there-in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops everywhere, further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds.

But you are stronger than them, aren't you? Those soft bellies and wet noses are no match for you-and their free ride has just come to an end.

F U, Penguin is the rallying cry for those who choose to fight these power-hungry cute-mongers. Loaded with color photographs and hilarious commentary, this book will have you laughing out loud while it simultaneously saves you from the tragic fate of tossing yarn with big-eyed kittens and bottle-nursing baby pandas forever.


"Finally, a book for the rest of us! Most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.I wasn't sure how many more times I could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before I started eating people... well, more people, anyway."--Jerry the Shark

"Penguins killed my parents, and they would not hesitate to kill me. I thank the Crustacean God for Matthew Gasteier, a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices."--Dennis the Krill

"It's all true. We're the worst."--Anonymous Penguin

"The average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity, but I could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans. I should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion."--Edward the Dolphin

"Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this style of book is not something we are currently looking for. However, we wish you the best of luck with your human publishers!"--Danielle the Bear, Editor-in-Chief, Random Cave Publishing
Publisher: New York : Villard, c2009
ISBN: 9780345518163
Branch Call Number: 827 G25f
YA827 G25f
Characteristics: xiii, 225 p. : col. ill. ; 24 cm
Alternative Title: FU, penguin


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Mar 31, 2018

"F.U. Penguin" is a book of truly twisted humour that, depending on your state of mind, will either have you laughing out loud, or else rolling your eyes to the ceiling, or maybe even cringing in revulsion.

Anyway - In this picture-book, author, Matthew Gasteier vents all of his angry rage (at full-force) at all of the adorably cute animals in the world.

You really have to read this book for yourself to get the full impact of what Matthew is raving about so loudly when it comes to these irresistibly cuddly critters.

When it comes to irresistibly cute animals (such as puppies, kittens, bear cubs, and especially penguins, to name but a few) - (author) Matthew Gasteier has definitely got quite an axe to grind.

And, of course - The cuter the critter, the bigger the axe Matthew is wielding. In fact, Matthew is, literally, tearing his hair out due to all of this animal cuteness (till he's now almost bald) and his patience is wearing mighty thin.

And, so - Out of total desperation and absolute retaliation to the overpowering cuteness of so many animals - Matthew has written "F U, Penguin" which (IMO) is a laugh-out-loud rant that I cannot fairly describe to you here.

You really have to read this often-hilarious picture-book to experience Matthew's outrageous ravings about cute animals for yourself.

P.S. - I think that this book's cover photo of an adorable baby penguin is the absolute cutest ever. Whadda you think?

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