Her Mother's Daughter

Her Mother's Daughter

A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love

Book - 2005
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The daughter of esteemed writer Paula Fox and the mother of Courtney Love relates "the curse of the first-born daughter" that has haunted four generations of her family. As an adopted child, Linda Carroll created a magical world of her own, made up of dramatic adventures and the abiding fantasy that her real mother would come and take her away. When she finds herself pregnant at the age of eighteen, she is determined to have the perfect understanding with her child that she lacked with her adoptive mother. But readers will know better, for that baby grows up to be Courtney Love, desperately attention-seeking, deeply troubled, and one of the most talented women in rock. Even as a baby, Courtney is beset by mood swings that no doctor can explain or cure. Her dark moods and paranoia escalate as she grows up, driving mother and daughter apart. When Courtney has a daughter of her own, Linda finally decides to find her own biological mother, and end the estrangement of generations of first-born daughters. Her Mother's Daughter is Linda Carroll's story of self-discovery as an adopted daughter, a childlike hippie mother and a woman determined to find herself before finding her roots. Set apart from the typical celebrity memoir by Carroll's gifted storytelling, Her Mother's Daughter gives a fresh perspective on the elusive yet enduring connections between mothers and daughters, and reveals the true history of the wildly confabulatory Courtney Love. LINDA CARROLL was adopted at birth, raised in San Francisco and only later discovered that her biological mother is the writer Paula Fox. Married at eighteen, and twice more before she was thirty, she is now the mother of five grown children, including singer/songwriter Courtney Love. She is a therapist and writer and lives in Corvallis, Oregon with her husband of seventeen years. Advance Praise for Her Mother's Daughter "Even if you start reading Linda Carroll's memoir out of curiosity about her famous daughter and biological mother, you'll keep reading to find out more about Linda herself.  This is no celebrity potboiler, but a fascinating, beautifully written work of narrative nonfiction; Carroll unites the intimate perspective of a psychologist, the contextual sense of a historian, and the clarity of a fine biographer in one absorbing package.  One of her central themes is what she calls the "curse of the first-born daughter," and it does seem that a tendency to live fascinating but difficult lives runs in these women's veins.  But so, apparently, does the talent of drawing, holding, and rewarding our attention.  Bravo, Linda Carroll!"   --Martha Beck, author of Expecting Adam and Finding Your Own North Star   "There is a delicious fictional quality to this true-life story that I  found riveting. In Carroll's deft telling, the book is a kind of  resurrection of a family….  I think I loved Her Mother's Daughter most for the devotion that Linda Carroll has for her unusual family through decades of separations and unconventional journeys."   --Terry Ryan, author of  The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio   "Looking backward and forward in time, this haunting memoir tells the story of a young woman's journey to finding herself, her birth mother, and her daughter, Courtney Love. The candor and power of these pages illuminates the difficulties of all mother-daughter relationships, but offers a rare glimpse into that elemental relationship when it is shadowed by the temperamental features of early-onset bipolar disorder. Linda Carroll has grit and grace, and writes like her mother's daughter."   --Demi
Publisher: New York : Doubleday, c2005
ISBN: 9780385512473
Branch Call Number: 616.8914 C31h
Characteristics: viii, 303 p. : ill. ; 22 cm

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Feb 20, 2013

http://guestofaguest.com/new-york/events/courtney-love-plays-scholar-at-guggenheims-cattelan-closing&slide=4 'Class, or class perception, seemed to have mattered a great deal in her family. Her mother once slapped her for saying, “Yabba, dabba, doo!” an expression she considered too “middle-class” for her daughter to speak aloud.' http://www.iraresoul.com/parent_essays.html#3 / Daniel Mackler: "People procreate in an attempt to have their children rescue them from their own unresolved pain. They may couch their desire to procreate in concepts like biological drive, societal and familial expectation, and love for mothering, and these may all be partially true, but underneath these surface motives people who have not resolved all of their childhood traumas have children because they really just want to be loved. And this is not fair to the child, because no child asks to be born, and no child has the capacity to rescue his parents. Only deep healing – through the resolution of one’s own childhood traumas – can rescue people from their own buried horrors . . . . many avoid the whole healing process and instead have children as a compromise. They block their rage at their parents for failing them and transform it into hope for rescue from their offspring – all the while acting out this rage in subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways on their very offspring . . . . when people become parents it becomes far harder for them to feel their legitimate rage at their own traumatizing parents, because simple logic tells them that what comes around sooner or later goes around."

PrimaGigi Oct 09, 2011

I can see the certain issues people have with Linda Carroll, he writing can be childish. I can see her side and other points, she makes me scratch my head. The fact that she married so many times and that she had so many kids. I think it's the fact, that she never clearly talked to Courtney nor defined her point of pain, that she just accepted and made her simply out to be a destructive force. I also don't think on the search for herself did she take anyone, but her drama into account. I understand her point with Courtney and how she had to deal with her, I have a personal relationship with someone that is so enraptured and blanketed by their pain and suffering, that they damage the people and relationships around them. It is not easy. I am glad, she found her mother and the connection she needed.


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Feb 20, 2013

'Hank had Courtney one night a week and every other weekend. One day she came home with psychedelic magic marker drawings covering her arms and legs. And I was horror-struck by her nightmares after the visits with him. She woke up screaming, “No, Daddy, no!” It was virtually impossible to soothe her afterward. The more I tried, the more she would stiffen, arching her back and resisting as though my touch were painful.
I called my lawyer to see if I could stop Hank from seeing her. “I have to be honest,” he said. “I’d be concerned about my daughter visiting him, too. He doesn’t seem to know a lot about appropriate behavior.” But in 1966, in the most liberal city in the country, there was little a court could do about my concerns, he told me. “I don’t even think we can get him to pay his child support—that’s how loose the system has gotten.”'

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